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 running and your spouse
Rickshaw
Runworks 2005 5M Racer
San Francisco, CA
Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 1157

running and your spouse Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 11:49 am 

My wife deals with my running habits pretty well, even when they sometimes get a little out of hand. It would be great if she were a runner herself, but for someone who's not really into sports, she's very supportive. She's come out to see me at several of my races, and also stays and takes care of our daughter while I'm out on long runs on Sunday mornings. I guess I have it pretty good.

From conversations with other runners, it seems like running is often a source of tension between them and their spouse. The time spent away from the family for training runs and races can be an issue, not to mention the cost of race entries fees, shoes, and other gear. Often this gets solved by moving training runs to the extra early AM hours before the rest of the family is awake, but that's certainly not ideal. If running affects you and your significant other, what tricks do you have for dealing with it?


BGibbsLMT

Southington, CT
Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Posts: 68

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 9:26 pm 

I run when my wife is at work, the benefit of my flexible schedule. As for race fees and shoes, we just don't mention those. She still thinks I'll grow out of it some day.

Rickshaw
Runworks 2005 5M Racer
San Francisco, CA
Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 1157

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 10:56 am 

Is your wife a runner herself, or a sports fan? That seems to make a difference.

onyourleft


Joined: 08 Dec 2004
Posts: 10

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 2:25 pm 

i'm very lucky - my girl is more of a runner/athlete than i am.
i haven't seen running get in the way before, but do know people who have issues because of cycling. if you want to talk about time sinks, talk about cycling. you can ride all day...
one thought though, if you have to use "tricks", something's wrong.
A. you can rarely, if ever, trick a woman. period.
B. see A.
my approach would be to have things in the open, ask for an hour/day or whatever to run, make it possible for her to be included if she wants (she walks for an hour while you run), and/or offer up a "carte blanche" choice to balance things out.


BGibbsLMT

Southington, CT
Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Posts: 68

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 8:34 pm 

Rickshaw wrote:
Is your wife a runner herself, or a sports fan? That seems to make a difference.


No not at all.


sfird
Runworks 2005 5M Racer
Long Island, NY
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 80

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:20 am 

My wife, who is not a runner, is very supportive. She comes to the races, picks me up when a long run goes bad, pretends to listen when I tell her all the details of a run or race and listens when I detail the variious aches and pains I'm experiencing. In fact, she even pushes me out the door when I need a little motivation. She says she recognizes the health, weight and mental benefits I experience when running and prefers that over the alternative. Personally I think she's happy to have me out of the house but in either case it's a positive situation. There are times that the training gets in the way a bit. She particularly dislikes it when I have an 18+ training run scheduled for Sunday since out Saturday night out ends pretty early. She also doesn't like it when I'm particularly tired from a long run and end up laying around the house all day. I understand her thinking on this one and try and stretch, shower and then keep going.

The best was when she came out to support me at the NYC Marathon a few years ago. I gave her all the details so she could see me in Brooklyn, on 1st Ave. and in Central Park. Well, she ended up missing me in Brooklyn and 1st Ave. and was too tired to get over to the Park. She ended up meeting up with me after the finish on Central Park West. Here I was exhausted after running the marathon and she was complaining how tired she was. I think it was the only time I ever told her that I didn't want to hear it.

From what I hear from other runners, I have it good and certainly appreciate my wife for her support, tolerance and understanding.


Rickshaw
Runworks 2005 5M Racer
San Francisco, CA
Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 1157

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2004 10:15 am 

sfird wrote:
She comes to the races, picks me up when a long run goes bad, pretends to listen when I tell her all the details of a run or race and listens when I detail the variious aches and pains I'm experiencing.

I think that's one of the big reasons for the popularity of discussion forums like this one. For most, at best your spouse may politely listen to your endless ramblings about runs, races, or training, but probably won't get real excited about it. It's nice to spend a little virtual time with other people who are as interested in the details as you.


Rustyboy

LA, CA
Joined: 14 Dec 2004
Posts: 225

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2004 12:27 pm 

I am excessively lucky: My wife and I are training for a 1/2 merry in March. Even though our paces vary greatly, when we get the opportunity to run together we grab it; I'll finish my miles and patiently wait until I see her trotting up to me and hand her a water.

I also love after coming home from my morning runs the scent of freshly brewed coffee that she's made for me and her ritualistic question, "How'd it go, stud?" when I come through the door.

One great memory was the first time she ran 10k and I saw her approaching me with tears in her eyes. I swear, that look of someone setting a PR compares to nothing, especially when it's your spouse.

Gads, I sound like a lovesick teenager.


sfird
Runworks 2005 5M Racer
Long Island, NY
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 80

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2004 12:33 pm 

You're absolutely correct. To be fair, I don't listen when my wife talks about all of the dogs in the animal shelter where she works. Of course, I do have a fairly constant stream of puppies and dogs visiting the house. I guess to get even I should bring some stray runners home with me.

Rickshaw
Runworks 2005 5M Racer
San Francisco, CA
Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 1157

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2004 10:10 pm 

That's awesome! Did you become runners together, or did one of you get the other into the sport? Do you compete with each other at all?

You should come to San Francisco and run the Couples' Valentine's Day Race. It's a relay race with you and your significant other as partners, fastest combined time wins the race.


Rustyboy

LA, CA
Joined: 14 Dec 2004
Posts: 225

Re: running and your spouse Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2004 1:30 pm 

It is quite cool. We've both run for years, and I only began taking it seriously early this past year, and in doing so, kind of influenced her as well.

The couples Valentine's Day race sounds great! Unfortunately, we're training for the race in Ireland and probably can't afford two trips so close together. Maybe next year!


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